After my brothers announcement about getting married. This topic has been rolling around the old noggin'. A couple months ago I was feeling a bit sorry for myself as far as being left behind regarding this whole marriage and baby thing. Abby's sister will be getting married next month and so will my brother. I don't fee anxious or scared of being alone for a bit. I guess its due to the fact of Podcast. Listening to the one titled "All the Single Ladies" just gave me so much comfort. I don't feel the need to go out and look for a boyfriend or partner. In my culture being my age and single with no intention of wanting to marry is a bit taboo. Another thing that has encouraged this attitude of not wanting marriage just yet has been because I'm single.
The 1st time I listened to this podcast about 8 weeks ago. I was completely sucked in! The fear of people all around the world on this "Eternal Singlehood" Is fascinating to me. I have been this person in the past but I have been teaching myself to catch those thoughts and say something positive about that specific situation. Being married and having a family isn't for everyone. We can live fulfilling lives without those things and we shouldn't judge other that live differently than us. The fear that has been imbedded in us for living outside what's expected, is a bit sad. I guess I've had some feminine ideas within myself without even knowing it. Some years ago I posted a status that read: "Is the only thing that little girls have to look forward to in life is becoming a mommy and wife?" Most of the replies were yes. I couldn't help but ask myself why? I find it very hard to accept this just because that's the way its supposed to be? I want to be a mother and wife because I choose to not because I have to. I've noticed this behavior in other aspects of my personality. I do understand that some people don't have the means to be single and sometimes do it for financial reasons. That is why marriage was started anyways. Marrying for love is still somewhat new. I do wish to have a child one day and its more than just my biological instinct. I want to share my knowledge give them more than what I had I want to pass something that can be bought, but for the time being I am enjoying the time I have to myself. I want to have the relationship that my mother and I have to a certain point. I have learned to be alone without feeling lonely. I have started blogging, having pen pals and even found feminism.
One day I would like to get married an have a family but its not number one thing on my list at the moment. I'm not going to just sit abound and wait for Mr. Right. If for any reason that does not happen it will be okay because I will have developed interests and other relationships. I don't want to fall under the category of getting married because I have to or because its what your supposed to do.
Keeping it short tonight. FYI I started my psychology class last night and I cant wait for us to do the dream activity! Women's studies is tomorrow, wish me luck!
Good night to anyone actually reading my blogs!
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