Happy 50th Birthday!

     Yesterday was my mothers 50th birthday, suddenly 50 doesn't seem so old. I'm glad that I am at a point in my life that we can enjoy each others company. Although things weren't always like this, we spent some years apart. My mom moved away very abruptly when I was 18 that was April of 2007 right after her birthday. It took me a long time to adjust, it was horribly hard for me. I mean my mom had always been there even when my parents split and moved apart when I was 13, my mom and I stayed together. If it wasn't for 2 great friends, I don't know what would of become from me of coarse they helped me the best they could. Getting out of that house wasn't so hard physically anyway. My father worked all day my brother was 17. We took advantage of it, by that point I had dropped out of high school. Our friends would ditch and go to the house that had no parental supervision. It took me a couple months to realize why I felt so depressed, I missed my mom. even at 18 that made me develop some abandonment issues.
     My mother moved back in Sept 2011. I thought that it was weird that people though I would run into moving in with her as soon as she came back. I'm not that type of person and I was still a bit hurt not going to lie. After about a year or so my mother started suggesting that we all move in together with my brother. As much as I love both of them I automatically said no. I had already established a stable living situation. I was not about to throw that away. Especially when she would get frustrated and say things like "I'm so annoyed of everything, I'm just going to leave somewhere and never come back!" I would just agree but hope she didn't do that again. She ended up moving in with my brother late spring of 2013. I knew I didn't want to move in with them. After the lease was up and they moved into a small room, my mother kept asking me why I didn't want to move in with her and I had to tell her. I still remember the car ride. It was an early Sunday morning and we were headed to the bank to get money to start our usual weekend rounds. I told her "I don't want to move in with you because I don't want to get stuck with a lease if you decide to just take off again." One of the hardest sentences I've even had to tell anyone. So for 2 years you could say I was testing her to see if she was really serious about staying, sounds funny when you think about it I'm the daughter and she's the mother not the other way around.
      We have been living together now for about 5 moths next week and yes she may get on my nerves sometimes but what parent doesn't? Those 7 years  apart really helped me realize how much I love her. I took her to the movies for the first time yesterday and as we were walking in she said something that made my heart warm up, "I used to take you to the movies now you bring me." It definitely wont be the last! I know my mother wont be around forever but I am glad I can take the moment to appreciate the time I do have with her. The day that she leaves this earth I don't want to have any regrets and in my heart I will know that I enjoyed my time with her as much as I could.
She's more than just my mom she's my best friend and I cannot wait to have a daughter to share this amazing relationship with. But I know if I didn't forgive my mother for leaving this connection we have now would not be possible. I recall someone telling me that they were a bit jealous of my relationship with my mother so I asked her "Will you forgive your mother for the things she's done to you?" her answer was "No."  I hope one day this person learns how to forgive. We need to enjoy what is happening now because things will never be the same ever again.

Happy 50th Birthday Mami! (I can hear her snoring as I type this ha-ha)

I think this was my 3rd birthday Dec1991

October 2013 Downtown Santa Ana, CA (Omg at a bar with my mom!)