Mark and I have become great friends these last 4 months well at least that's what I thought. Recently we talk on the phone almost every day. We have definitely become closer. He talks to me about who he's dating and or smashing these days. And I tell him how I feel about certain men. As I was waiting from him to get off a phone call so we could talk before I go to bed he tells me that we wont be able to talk tonight. Which was fine I had already taken cough medicine and was waiting for it to knock me out. He though I was upset when I text him "Okay. Good Night" few seconds later he replies and says "Yes you are" once I again I text back the same line. After that he tells me " OK well, I love you. Good Night". I didn't know what to say it totally caught me off guard. Is this guy really falling for me? Maybe it was an accident? Maybe he thought he was talking to another girl? So I asked "Do you randomly tell people you love them?" He said "No" and just ended up saying goodnight I didn't want to continue questioning him. Then I thought this is the 2nd time I have been told those words in the last year but unfortunate they didn't come from the one I wanted. It made me reminisce for a quick second of things that once were and will never be.
El Terco now Mark, I don't want to hurt anyone or cause them any pain. This is one of the reasons I freak out and block men out of my life. Is being honest just as bad as blocking them? I've blocked Mark once before and he said it hurt him a lot so I decided we could be friends. I know I'm amazing (nervous laugh) but heartbreaker is not on my resume these days. I don't know what I am going to do about this one. I have to stop being scared and blocking guys but I cant lie either. I guess ill just be honest and play it by ear.
Medicine is kicking in. Good night.
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