Engaged!!!!!

     When I worked at Western Dental 3 years ago I met a great friend, Iliana. She was and still is one of the most wonderful persons I have met. Back in April 2012 Ili was turning 26 and she was were I am now well as far as dealing with an old love. Even after leaving WD we kept in touch.

     Yesterday she text me and told me she was engaged to her boyfriend well now fiancé . I was so happy and filled with warm gooey love there was a small tear in my eye. I felt so exited because I see part of her in me. All the things I have been going through this last year reminded me of what she  had gone through some years back. This wonderful news filled me with hope again. Here is this great, smart, tough, sweet woman that has gone through worse than I have in the love department and she's found her happiness with a wonderful man that treats her the way I always knew she deserved.

     It wasn't until later that night when I was texting with Mark that I began to cry. I just started thinking about my love life or the lack of it recently. Hearing someone tell you that they love you is great but I can only imagine what it must feel like coming from the man you love. I am yet to know what that's like. I know I'm not in competition with anyone but no one likes to feel like they are being left behind, that's just human nature I guess. Just because I feel that way doesn't mean I'm going to ruin her happiness. I am honored that she wants my help with her wedding I've never done this before and I'm sure it will be a wonderful learning experience filled with tears of happiness! I'm looking at this like I'm helping this young wonderful couple start their life together in some small way. Everything I'm going through will be worth it but I cant help think, What is my future husband up to right now? Probably masturbating! LOL
    
     After telling my co worker Molly how I felt about these recent events she told me " I believe that we have to go through the bad relationships to truly value the one we are meant to have." I know she's been through her share of pain and her words give me a sense of calmness and patience. My Meri-Tech Mom ha-ha. I also had a bit of a heart with my friend Ed and he asked me "Do you remember that night in my room?" I rolled my eyes and looked the other way and said "yes" like a teenage girl that is about to get yelled at. And he followed by asking me "If you and I would have gotten together way back then, do you think we would still be together?" I'll admit I've always though Ed was fairly handsome and what I admired most about him was his respect towards me. I had to be honest to him so I told him the truth and said "No, I would of fucked it up and we would probably not even be friends now." Both  of these people made me think that its okay that I've messed up and that I'm actually learning and growing from all this, just reassures me that I am doing things the way that feel correct within my heart. I'm not perfect and I'm not trying to be all I am doing is being true to myself.