The Last Date with JoJo

I took up JoJo on his offer to go out to dinner. I will admit he has been being persistent I think he started this whole asking me out back in November 2014. That was when I told him that I had been single since September. I was surprised he even asked .  I didn’t turn him down to be a bitch or anything. I have still been somewhat hurt from the whole BIG HEARTBREAK of 2014. It was a rough year for me well emotionally; I also moved which was an even bigger deal.  Hanging out with Jojowas a nice break from being home and not doing anything. He took me where we had our 1^st date back in May of 2011, The Cheesecake Factory. He made me feel grounded; kind of reminded me how far I have come with dealing with everything, regular daily situations. Sometimes it’s weird when you hang out with a person you haven’t seen in so long, it kind of felt like no time had passed but honestly I don’t feel like that clueless 22 year old girl I was when I had 1^st met him. Although I might have acted a bit younger, I was drunk during the whole date. When he had text me if I wanted to have dinner I had already had 2 tall cans and a beer. I know that one of the reasons I said yes was because I had been drinking. I know that sounds messed up but if you know me, you know that alcohol gives me a bit of temporary “balsyness” I just don’t give a fuck. Sometimes it sucks that sober Dee can’t be more like that. Being the adult I have become I just naturally do what I feel is right.  I haven’t had fun like that in a while. Sitting in front of this cool guy again 4 years later made me realize that I might have chosen the wrong man. But you can’t go back and change the past all you can do is work with what you have in front t of you. Deep down I can admit that if I had chosen Jojo when I was younger I would have done him wrong, and maybe we wouldn’t even be friends now. In a way it’s good that I didn’t choose him. 

Well that what the 1st date. About a month ago jojo asked me out again and I said yes. My mom had just gotten fired from her job that day. He picked me up and I let him know what was going on with my mother. His response upset me more than i led on, he said "Well what do you expect she's a temp." After he said that I knew the whole night would different. When we got to the movies and we're ordering at the bar he kind of started to make fun of the bartender because of his sexual orientation. That bothered me because here is a young man loving what he is doing and just because he is gay you are saying smart ass remarks.all I kept thinking was, you are out on a date with a girl you want to make your girlfriend and you act like this?  Maybe JoJo didn't mean it that was but after the remark in the car, it just felt like maybe I'm not the type of girl he should be out on a date with. I don't know if he was trying to act tough or be a macho. I could totally be wrong. After talking to my cousins about this Ana told me " I kicked my ex out of my house for saying shit like that!" Okay I totally didn't over react. Just looked at the situation as a whole. 

As he was diving me home, I tried to give him another chance and I said "I'm worried about my mom if she can't find i job I have to pay the rent." He asked how much I made I didn't want to tell him but I did just not to make things awkward. He replied " Oh you'll be fine." I just thought to myself there's more than just rent. Jojo has always been good to me ever since I met him and I appreciate his patience with me but that night I realized that we can never be more than what we are, just friends.