Marriage Proposal: El Terco

I met El Terco ( the stubborn one) as my mother calls him the first week of March 2014. A month before my depression began. We technically met in April. You be friended me on Instagram. You did come on a bit strong but you were polite. About 2 weeks later you told me that you had made something for me. You had made a painting of me! As soon as you said that I had to see it! No one had ever done anything like that for me. My experience with men hasn't been so great so naturally I didn't believe you. I still  remember the day you mailed me my gift. I received it on a Thursday. My landlord told me that I had a package, as I opened it I had the biggest smile that could not be hidden in any which way. As soon as I took it out of the box i thought, wow he was telling the truth all long! I want to get this painting tattooed and so does my brother after seeing it. Some weeks after getting to know you and becoming recently single. I agreed to meet you because you were so stubborn! I was so nervous and nowhere near ready to hangout with another man. I couldn't believe that you drove down from Santa Barbara just to see me lil old me. You gave me a beautiful bouquet of flowers, chocolate, a one of a kind Dodger sweater with my nickname DEE on the back over a big number 88 (my birth year). The front had a sugar skull with a baseball cap that said LA and Los Doyers under the skull. As soon as I opened that it made me cry but there was more; 2 pairs of earrings that I had just told you earlier that day that I wanted from when I was out shopping with my mom. When we went for a walk you gave me a hug and whispered in my ear "casate conmigo" (marry me). You scared the crap out of me but your words sounded so sincere. The night didn't end so well, I had only broken up with Frank like 2 weeks before. I ended up crying and making an ass of myself. I was heartbroken after the break up. Now that I look back I don't know why I put myself through that. I know you left heartbroken as well. I'm sorry I couldn't love you  and I still cant.  We still keep in touch well at least through social media. Every time you say casate conmigo it makes me so profoundly sad because I know what its like to love someone so bad that it hurts. What can I say? It will be a year next week and I'm still fighting that feeling for FEO.  Whatever happens I just wan you to know how thankful I am that you showed me what its like to be loved . Its been a unfortunate love triangle.I feel that by keeping in touch with you I'm just torturing you especially with my snap chats. I will always cherish my painting until the day I die, Panzon.