If I haven't mentioned before I go to therapy about once a month or so. I have known my therapist for about 4 years .I started going because I felt like I needed some type of guidance, my anxiety and a bunch of others things. Now that I've gotten some of my worries a bit more under control I feel like I have really began to blossom. I am becoming the woman I have always wanted to be. I consider myself to be a good person and everything I learn I want to share with the people around me. From time to time I get text messages from friends asking for advise and it feels great that I can help and give them guidance. I don't see it like other people that may say things like "they only look for me when they need something". Not at all I feel honored that they confide in me. And I love being able to guide them in some way. Even if they don't follow my advise its okay that fact that they came to me is more than enough thanks. I love empowering people and helping them validate themselves. I want to help young women with self esteem and father issue's because those 2 things play an enormous role when choosing a partner. I want to minimize the percentage of women that become involved in physically and verbally abusive relationships. I'm still not 100 percent on how I will do that but I'm on my way!
Recently I have felt so lonely, might be the best way to put it. I want my friends to see things the way I do but I cant force them. Older co workers seem to get it more and my brother. I randomly added this page on Facebook called "Things Your Mom Never Told You" about 2 weeks later I saw that there was a YouTube channel of this. I automatically fell in love with Cristen's YouTube videos. The 1st 2 days my head would hurt after watching her videos because they are a bit short from 2-10 minutes. Her videos are about questions that subscribers ask. I love how she breaks it down psychologically and scientifically. Her weekly videos give me something to look forward to and made me feel that I am not alone in the way I think and or feel. That also got me interested in feminism (don't roll your eyes at me). Every time I mention Feminism I get this "ughhh" response and rolling eyes. You probably imagine the hardcore feminist woman that burns her bra, doesn't shave her legs and hates men. Reading on this topic and watching Cristen's videos helps me understand this movement a little bit better. Its not that women are better than men to me its about being treated like equals and helping people in general not just girls or women. I have experienced sexism in my life and even this year. Yes, in 2015.
This last weekend I went to Tijuana, México for my cousin's Mayra graduation from nursing school. I began talking to her about her dreams for the future and she is a very driven young woman. When we had some down time from eating tacos (which are amazing out there) and driving all over the city. We began to talk about men and the how some are threatened by successful women. She mentioned that her ex boyfriend would get upset about her going to school and working at a local hospital. Most of my generation of cousins are either living with a boyfriend or have kids. I am the oldest woman (26) on my fathers side that has no children. I just don't understand why our culture is in such a hurry to get married. So Mayra and I came to the conclusion that we will bet the older single aunts in the family that wont get married until we are in our 30's. For Mexican women that is old.
A while back I had a co worker that only dates Latinas tell me "You don't think like a most Latinas". I asked, "How do most Latinas think?" and he told me that the ones he had come across usually don't want to work, they stay home and want to be taken care of. I thought to myself wow is that the way we are seen? I'll just have some man take care of me? For as long as I can remember my mother always told me that she wants me to learn to survive on my own, so I don't have to rely on a man. I think this is more than just a cultural mind set, its really how you are raised but maybe there is a higher percentage of Hispanic women that are like this. Whichever it may be, you better believe that my future children will be taught to rely on themselves 1st instead of the opposite sex, marriage is a teamwork and there is no "Woman's Work".
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